feeling like a sore throat

Last night before I went to bed, I felt like my throat hurts a little.
I did my "breathing" qi gong, with out the qi part and went to sleep.

this morning i woke up with a even worse throat, and feel like a temperature too.

and the whole day i felt sick, but not sick enough not to go to work...

so anyways. still waiting for the nurse to call back about my panel result, it has been over 2 weeks. but I guess I'll keep waiting. in the mean time, i don't know if we should wait to ttc or not. I asked my doc, and i don't think he give me a clear answer...so we'll see. I leave this up to God. i asked him...and we'll know the answer in 2 weeks? cuz a couple of days ago we BD'd and I saw mucus the night before... but i wasn't using my opk nor counting days... this time, i'm totally out of this.

Feeling better

I have been feeling better.

I mean honestly last O was around april 13th, and today is May 22nd.
hoping I'm back to normal. so maybe not so much a setback. In little more than a month, I've experienced BFP, up and down roller coaster and deep disappointment. A m/c is hard to go through, no matter how little physical pain there is.

But now I think I'm back to normal...I hope. I bought 100 pack of IC wondfo OPK. I thought I would give my friend some too since she is TTC as well, for about 6 months still nothing yet.

Did a OPK test today. I intended to use it as a HCG test to see if my HCG level went down. But all I got is a light test line. So not so sure if that tells me anything.
It's confusing but here is a better explanation:


From
http://www.peeonastick.com/opkhpt.html

LH and hCG are, at a molecular level, nearly identical. hCG has a beta subunit, meaning it has an extra little "doodad." To use a stupid but easy to understand example, LH and hCG are identical twins, except that hCG wears a funny hat.

An OPK tests only for the part of the molecule that LH and hCG have in common (the "face" or "body" of the identical twins.) Essentially an OPK is saying:

So an OPK will turn positive when it detects either of the "identical twins"-- ovulation or pregnancy hormone.

The reverse is not true, however, because an HPT tests for the part of the molecule that is unique to hCG (the "hat.") So an HPT would say:

Therefore, a pregnancy test will turn positive only in the presence of hCG, whereas an OPK will turn positive in the presence of hCG or LH.   

but who cares. I have so many so I'll keep testing :P


As long as you believe, miracle will happen!

m/c #3 is done today

I stopped bleeding/spotting completely today. I think now I have the energy and courage to come back to this.

I wanted this to be a pregnancy blog. but turned out this is a blog about m/c (#3) again.

I've been reading a couple of blogs that helped me, gave me hope. this one:
whycantistaypregnant.blogspot.com
and
onelossistoomany.wordpress.com

They are so brave, survived 3 or more m/c and ended up with a healthy baby. I could be like them. I'll not give up.

I watched old sex and city where Charlot and Tray were separated cuz they are not able to have a baby. He said he is ok with their marriage if they can't have a baby, but he believes she is not ok with it. That's why they can't be together. Then I thought about myself. Would I be ok?

The answer is yes.

God knows how much I want a baby. I pray to him everyday. Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed to be a mommy one day. But if it's his plan that I shall not have one, I still happy with my marriage, my DH.


This doesn't mean I'm giving up about our baby. My OB turned out to be somewhat a Fertility doc too. so far, I've done:
thromboplillia panel to see if I have blood clot problem.-- don't know result yet
I will do these once my AF started:
CD3: FSH
CD7: HSG or the 3d sono gram for uterus abnormalities

I hope there is something wrong with me that they can fix. I know 1/2 time, it's unknown, but I hope....

beta#3:445

Didn't feel like updating with bad news.

After the 2nd beta on 5/4, it didn't sound good. Probably m/c or tubal, which is more scary.

So the 3rd beta is from yesterday's blood (5/8). so over 4 days, it only increased 100 something...definitely not good.

I'll go in on 5/18. do a u/s and maybe another beta...but who knows...in 10 days, that's a long time.

update:

as it turned out, I started spotting/bleeding on 5/13, mother's day. teeeeears...................

not a tubal but another m/c!!

I was so sad. My DH had tears too. even though I was prepared for it but I'm still extremely sad. Was I angry? Maybe a little bit, but not as angry as last time...Maybe I'm used to it? OH, no! that's horrible!

:((((( beta#2 only 334 :((((((((((((((((

I can't believe.......why......................................................................

got blood drawn at 12:45 today

So how do I get around the nurse calling me on monday with my result?
I don't think I can wait that long...
hmmm. I'm going to get the lab result myself! by go through medical record in the hospital. I'm so crazy huh...

Hopeful about beta#2

I'm going in for beta#2 today.

I think I'll go in around lunch time get my blood draw and hopefully I'll get the result before EOD today. I don't want to spend this weekend wondering about this. I know the nurse usually doesn't call till the next day... but maybe I'll call her this time if by 4:30 still no phone call.... ;)

I did a wondfo today fmu....it's darker than couple of days ago..but still not as dark as control...the last one on the right is 21 dpo. I know this is side ways, could NOT make the pic rotate.

21 dpo

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, let this be a good number....